: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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