I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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