his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
