Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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