If i come over, it means nothing
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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