I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
he shaved USA in his pubs
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
