If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
