HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
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