i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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