We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
