Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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