its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
