I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize