I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
