So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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