so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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