"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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