I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
