This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize