After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
