Plan B is the new Plan A
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I would fuck him just for his dog
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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