i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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