he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
