why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
