I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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