So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
