her vagina looked like bernie madoff
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
