I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
