Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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