Sponge bath it is.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
