I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
it's like heaven, but drunker
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
