you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I forget how to act sober
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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