You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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