In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
