South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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