How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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