dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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