How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
