i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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