wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
