oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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