He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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