Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
