the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
