i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
