Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
