ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize