I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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