She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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