9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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