He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
