Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
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