Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
