He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
smell my finger.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
