i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
