We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
