i already hear my dad disowning me
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize