i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
