She is in my trunk
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
someone get that fucking seahorse.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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