WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
