you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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