well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
