I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
