what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
